Side note: I hope you enjoy this tongue and cheek piece… Recently, on a trip to Brittany with my boyfriend, (aka Instagram Husband) he sighed rather loudly. Being the caring person I am and sensing that something was wrong, I simply asked him what his problem was. Why couldn’t he master the puddlegram like the beach shot I had so envisioned and was so after??! He simply replied, a rather disgruntled ‘I used to laugh about people being Instagram husbands and now I am one’.
At a recent party, I finally had the pleasure of meeting a friend’s partner. He was able to relate a lot with my own boyfriend’s Instagram struggles; ‘Every time we’re out for a meal, I have to wait for all the food pictures to be taken before I can finally tuck into my food’, ‘Oh, we haven’t got that far yet, thank goodness!’ was my boyfriend’s rather relieved reply.
With the recent admission that my boyfriend has made the smooth transition from boyfriend to instagram husband (sorry, R!), here’s a guide on how to know if you’ve got an Instagram husband (or have, indeed, become one).
Photo below taken by my ever patient boyfriend…
If you’re not very present on Instagram, or have been living under a rock for the past year, then you may not know what an Instagram husband is. Basically, an Instagram husband is the ‘guy (or gal) behind the lens of any candid ‘grammer’. Seen a super shot of your favourite Instagram star with no credits to the photographer? Chances are, it was taken by the person behind the lens, the person who takes shot upon shot of the same photo to finally achieve that ‘candid’ look. A.K.A the Instagram husband.
So, without further ado, you know you have an Instagram husband when…
- He offers to start taking photos of you before you even ask. He already knows you’ll want a photo in front of the fairytale castle anyway…
2. ‘Are you done yet?’ ‘Have we finally finished?”I’m pretty sure this candid shot is good enough’ are all phrases that have entered his vocabulary on a regular basis. In fact, you’d be surprised if he didn’t say them at least bi-weekly!
3. He starts offering to hold your friend’s things and take photos for them too…
4. His food becomes a new accessory. ‘Ooh, I can take a photo of our ice creams together- how cute!‘
5. His phone becomes the ‘backup snapchat phone’. He becomes suspicious when you ‘remember’ to charge his phone up at the same time as yours. Of course, you did! If your phone runs out of battery, you can always log into snapchat from his phone and snap from there. Incidentally, I do this all the time and my SNAPCHAT IS SOPHNADZ
6. His hands, feet, and profile become perfect insta-worthy photographable material. You have a vision of the shot you want, you need a model. Lo and behold, he’s there!
7. He starts giving you ‘pointers’ on the aesthetic of your feed. He lets you know rather vocally which shots he thinks will get the most likes and, most importantly, gain you the most followers. But, he’s wrong. Clearly, you know best and will filter everything perfectly just to prove him wrong! (the best apps to edit your Instagram photos- and how I edit my own photos).
8. He gives up on asking you to stop featuring him on your feed or writing blog posts inspired by him. What’s the point? You’re going to do it whether he says yes… or no. Hey, you know what you signed to- I was on Insta before we even met!
9. His friends laugh at him for being ‘the Instagram husband‘. He’s crouching down on the floor, trying to take that ‘candid’ shot of you while his friends are laughing and playing in the sea. Just another typical day in the ‘Insta‘ office you think to yourself.
10. And while we’re on the subject of offices, Instagram is exactly the kind of job he never signed up for. His job description looks something like ‘part-time boyfriend, full-time photographer’. But he knew what he signed up for, of course.
BONUS. He stops complaining about the fact that you walk slower than the speed of a snail. It’s worth walking slowly so that you won’t hassle him to get that ‘insta-worthy shot‘…