With the admission that I feel a little guilty about writing this, I’ve been feeling pretty uninspired lately.
Uninspired to blog.
Uninspired to take photos.
Uninspired to write my dissertation (Okay, maybe that one’s just because I’m lazy).
I think I had all these preconceived misconceptions about moving to Paris; that my life would become like something straight out of a Disney fairytale.
Reality check: all that’s really changed is my postcode. Time to return to the drawing board.
Sitting on the metro earlier, coffee cup in one hand, transport ticket in the other, it finally struck me. I haven’t lost direction, I’m just bad at letting go.
I’m not enjoying my new life because I can’t let go of my old one.
Let people walk away
It’s the paradoxical nature of the world that the very same people you love the most will be the ones who hurt you the most.
The friend that betrayed your secrets, that boy who broke your heart. Why do we agonise so much over past mistakes we can’t change and we no longer have any control over?
If you’ve ever spoken to me, you’ll know that I incessantly talk about the need for us to love ourselves first and foremost, the need for us to know who we are before we can make our solo a double (unless we’re talking about expresso).
We should love ourselves enough to know when a relationship is destructive and we should love ourselves enough to know when to let people walk away.
With the rise of social medial, it can be difficult to let go of people when we are constantly bombarded with reminders. Social media refuses to let us forget the people who hurt us, photos remind us of some less than PG nights out.
Perhaps we should be using those reminders to create something positive, channel that hurt into creativity; write some music, hit up the gym or write a blog post. I’ve previously written a blog post about the time I chose travel over my failing relationship.
And believe me, it was so cathartic.
Friends, lovers, those undefined complicated relationships; some things just aren’t meant to last. And that’s okay.
After all, ‘It’s better to have loved and to have lost than to never have loved at all‘.
Stop letting past mistakes define you
Sure, life is a series of moments that mould you into the person you are today; there are the good, the bad and the ugly moments.
It’s often tempting to look back on past decisions and think, if only I’d done X and Y, then now I’d have Z.
Recently, I’ve found myself having to confront some of my worst mistakes head on. I’ve had to speak in length about things I’ve tried to brush under the carpet. Cue – some awkward conversations.
In turn, I’ve learned to forgive myself and leave the mistakes behind. It turns out that my biggest fear was repeating my past mistakes (oh, and you know, people judging me. And they did).
But it’s all worked out well because ‘always a lesson, never a mistake’.
The reality is that although many regrets can’t be rectified, they can be forgiven.
Forgive yourself and give up the regrets in order to finally move on.
Live in the moment
It’s healthy to worry about the future… up to a certain point. From then on out, it becomes unhealthy and destructive.
Constantly asking ‘what if?’ is never constructive. It leads to severe procrastination and the fear of something that may never even happen. After all, you might get hit by a bus tomorrow; all we’re really guaranteed is the moment we have right here and right now.
While my parents’ story is their own to tell, when they met, they lived on different continents, let alone different countries. Had they constantly questioned and asked ‘what if?’, I doubt I’d be here today.
So, here’s to learning to let go.
Non, je ne regrette rien.